Live to CRUSH

Well, I was hoping to post up another battle report for you Malifaux fans out there today for my Weekly Wednesday Posting, but my partner in crime hasn’t been taking this website/blog very professionally*** lately and doesn’t seem to want to finish writing his reports.!???  Hmmm….  So instead I’ve put together some random ramblings that should prove kind of exciting.

Firstly, I wanted to talk about some progress I have made on the LTC website super duper make over session.  Its drawing near art completion for the next installment and should be heading over to the programming department(WombatJuggs) sometime next week.  Once in his hands it should be smooth sailing to get you the newest look of the LTC.  Heres a sneak peak of whats in store for all the crushies out there:

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Wow!  crazy huh?  Looks like some of us are taking this website professionally***…  boink boink.  whhhhammm-Oh.  So the next thing I figured I would throw in here is actually a pretty tasty morsel for any fan of the painting, modeling, and sculpting we do here throughout this lovely blog.  It just happens to be a picture of my first!  Yup.  The model that started it all..  and my second model.  These are here to show everyone out there that it takes time and practice and technique to paint real good.  But it is possible!  Look where I started!?  Thats the crappiest paint job ever…  Why did I even bother painting the orcs skin green?  I don’t know..  Anyway the goblin was my first ever model and it was from a game called hero quest.  If you entered the miniature gaming world through this game like me then high fives all around!  Seriously, I remember the awe I felt when I opened this up for christmas one year.  It was a year to remember.  The way that dopey wizard was arcing lightning and the barbarian on the front of the box in barbarian stance ready for the kill!  Anyway I hope to write a battle report on that game someday as I still have it.  It even came with femirs.  The one thing that sucked was the fact that the commercial always showed painted figs and when i opened the box only plastic.  Oh well.  I was too ready to explore dungeons to worry about non-painted models but eventually I would try my hand at it.  Then realize how hard it was.  Then years later it finally all came together.  But once it was like this:

Finally I wanted to stir the pot a little and announce the beginning of a new top secret project.  My goal is to be finished around the first of the year 2013.  I cannot really give anymore details but figured I would give show an image.

Well thats it for my ramblings this week.  Hopefully next week I will have something a little more concrete fro you guys.  I finished my TOP for Feb and that will be up soon.  I’m getting close to finishing my warspears and those will be up soon.  I’m working on a malifaux cobblestone base tutorial and some other tuts too.  I have some custom rotten belles on the wing and some other goodies too..  Over and out.

CloudFang

***the professionalism is in response to an attempt of an LTC member (who shall remain nameless) to commandeer a whole new world outlook of the entirety of  the LTC during a car ride home from Templecon.  Epic.  You had to be there.  Aaronm this post is for you homie.

The Scene: Templecon

Scenario:

No scenario however we used scenario deployment (*$#%!&@*)!!!!!  The game itself was a bit of a twist, pitting CloudFang and Thundernuts against Dan and Andrew.  It was a team game and we played two to a side Legion and Cryx vs Menoth and Mercs.  Each side went back and forth taking turns as one big unit.  The game was fun but took extremely long.

Home Field Advantage:

No advantage at all.  The room was stuffy and hot.  The table itself was split down the middle creating a chasm of miniature destruction leading to the floor beneath.  And the table itself was held up by 3/4″ white pvc piping!!??  It was about as sturdy as a drunk guy on a teeter totter.  In fact a sizable disadvantage continues!  Dan and Andrew said it was commonplace to use scenario deployment even during a regular caster kill game.  I had never heard of this before but they seemed pretty much all about this, so seeing as it was a fun game we agreed.  But let me say that an 8″ deployment zone is total disadvantage if you are not playing for scenario.  My advice is to never agree to this.  Also I would love to hear some feedback from others who have played this way and why?
The main reason it was a disadvantage here was because there was an impassible cliff covering half the boards deployment zone. Other than that all was fair.

Beer on Hand:

More Guinness in the parking lot.

Music Playing:

A few farts, several hundred coughs, the sound of 400 gamers being annoying and one women bumbling into me saying excuse me as she tried to wheel her baby stroller through about one foot of space between two back to back gamers!?  Seriously, what was she thinking?

35×2 Point Lists:

CloudFang:

pThags, Angel, Carny, Shredder, mongers full, warspears min, 2x warchiefs, spawning vessel min,

Thundernuts:

Witch Coven, with Deathripper, Deathripper, Defiler, Leviathan, 10 Bane Thralls, Bane Lord Tartarus, Bloat Thrall, Warwitch Siren, Orin Midwinter

Pre-Game Thoughts and Deployment:

CloudFang:

All was well, it was great to see old friends and play some cool characters.  It was great to play a team game with one of my best boys Thundernuts.  The atmosphere seemed awesome at first! (it got hot stuffy and crowded quick) Our plan was ultimately to slog it out grinding our opponents into dust and have a great time doing it!  The exact words were something like ” I guess we will figure it out as we go!?! woot woot!”

Thundernuts:

Kill or be killed. That was about all there was too it. I’ve only played a handful of games against menoth and all of them were against severius, so facing the avatar was going to be a new one for me. I got really dicked by that 8″ deployment zone because most of my deployment was on top of an impassible cliff. Thus, I had to deploy most of my stuff in and behind Cloudfangs stuff making for a huge cluster F**k in the middle. In hindsight, Cloudfang and I should have switched sides because most of his warbeasts can fly over impassible terrain.

Round 1:

CloudFang:

All I know is we moved forward.  Warspears on the wide left mongers up the middle to berserk up some kayazy and risen.  Thags moving up in order with things.  Carny running up the terrain to cause trouble and Angel flying up too looking to set its targets on something.  Pot slowly lurking behind which it would do all game and not account for anything.  Mostly getting ready for turn 2 charges!

Thundernuts:

Advance forward. Banes and tartarus were in the middle. Leviathan on the right advanced. Bonejacks marched forward. Stealth on the Bloat thrall kept his nyss hunters and Eiryss scared on the right flank.

Round 2:

CloudFang:

Finally round 2…  Geesh, talk about two groups of two bashing thick skulls together and not coming up with any plans.  Their side had moved up slowly.  Vilmon and 2 paladins against no one with magic weapons.  That is tough.  Mercs kept putting wimpy 30mm bases in front of us.  First kayazy which I charged with mongers but he kept removing others (fion’s spell) and shutting down berserk and all the while getting risen.  Aside from mongers charging most everything else moved up.

Thundernuts:

We were bogged down in the middle pretty good with a wall of kayazy that wouldn’t die. Risen were everywhere. I’m not even going to get into what was happening in the middle. Lets just say, two denial lists working as a team sucks balls. I sent a deathripper to the far left to hopefully magic Vilmon to death.

Round 3:

CloudFang:

Thought the game was long to start, now things really started to slow down.  Alexia feats end of last turn and forces us to not be able to do much at all.  Still trying to hold back the paladins and open up some charge lanes so the vanquisher could quit lobbing fire balls at us but all those stupid troops kept getting in the way!! aarrrggggh!  At least I was able to defend the bottle neck in the hill terrain and keep the weapon masters away from us! (i love when real battle strategy plays a part in a great warmahordes game).  Pot might as well never have been taken.  Not only that but with a 20″ control the flying princess seemed about 1 million miles away.  Kept killing stuff with mongers.

Thundernuts:

Banes were helping the mongers. I tried a boosted stygian abyss on vilmon through the deathripper over there. Shot hit and boosted damage….complete fail. Bloat thrall lobs a shot on the nyss….scatter perfect…..no damage…other deathripper gets infernal machine and a focus…charges Eiryss….boosted roll to hit……fail to hit. Are you seeing a trend yet? This was the story of the game for me. I couldnt roll higher than whatever I needed no matter how much I boosted.

Round 4:

CloudFang:

I’ve lost feeling in my legs as my knees swell up with the idiot idea of standing on concrete forever without moving!  Is it me or is it getting stuffy in here?  I am really annoyed at this point.  Not so much with the game or our opponents but just the general atmosphere.  I need some fresh air!  Oh well, did i mention harby feated at then end of last turn?  Another turn of close to nothing.  Mongers that are left kill some stuff.  Angel can’t get a clear charge, carny is pinned down by a magic only paladin!  So we dance around a bit and don’t do very much.  But at least our opponents can’t do much either.  I guess?  I think a quick death right now would be favorable in some ways to this drawn out meandering.

Thundernuts:

More bad dice coupled with more denial…..I want to slit my wrists. The coven popped feat out of spite. Banes were steadily dying. Vilmon was engaging the deathripper. Eiryss and nyss were engaging the other. Bloat thrall aims at the back arc of teh deathripper surrounded by nyss and hits, killing 1 nyss out of 4 and no damage to eiryss. For the love of GOD!! Critical Stygian abyss on the mangler and shot it twice with the leviathan with 2 boosted damage rolls to do 8 damage. Searched my bag for a razor blade but couldnt find one. This was like a feverish dream that would not end.

Round 5:

CloudFang:

I charged and killed a crusader with Thags and brought back a carny, I must say things were not looking hopeless?  But more than our armies, I think our spirits were broken, so me and Thundernuts called it a game and conceded like gentlemen….  (who quit things).  Not much else to say or do.

Thundernuts:

*siiiigh* torment finally over…my suffering soul shall finally be released.

Final Thoughts:

CloudFang:

Team games can be a ton of fun!  However, then and there was probably not the right decisions.  Dan and Andrew are top notch fellas and me and Thunder had a great time playing them.  My only real thought is to scheme with Thunder about putting together a combo that is awesome and trying to play some more team matches.  Its really is cool for a change to play with someone and not against them.  Especially in a game where you are usually on your own.  As far as my army or our army was concerned I think we out played the opponents but I think the general match up and the unusual deployment situation had us at a nice disadvantage.  I think had we stuck with it we may have pulled a win?  I’m not sure.  They definitely had the model advantage by the end, but with the crusader gone and a fresh carny out I think we had options.  All in all a lot of fun.

Thundernuts:

Kidding aside, I did enjoy myself. There were some real downs in this game and some cunning up’s. Since this game, I have gotten rid of these awful dice and procured new ones. Two of the dice I used, Dan had given me a few years back and I think that had something to do with it. I’d like to do a rematch, but think things through a little more and not bring the generic (and sub par) list I brought. The leviathan really showed me how it is not all that effective. Same for the bloat thrall. I also noticed how some magic attacks would have been considerably helpful. Orin midwinter is useless. Infernal machine on a deathripper is a waste of an arcnode. I’ll never fall into that trap again. If your bringing melee arcnodes to the table, you have to select one role or the other. You cant have melee and arcnode. Defilers with the witch coven are meh at best. I think a slayer, withershadow combine, and cankerworm would do nicely replacing the defiler, leviathan, and Orin. Replace both deathrippers with nightwretches too. I dont know why I always go back to trying deathrippers.

Card advantage, here I come! Scratch built a watcher model for my Malifaux Guildees because I don’t really care for the constructs that Wyrd makes. I wanted something more……ridiculous.

From concept sketch courtesy of TSR:

To reality:

Say Cheese!

Made this guy from a cube of aluminum foil covered with green stuff. Then some bitz including parts from the cephalyx, a plastic helljack, and Battlefleet Gothic. This guy is the shit. His wang cannon goes pew pew pew. Cheesy smile and bulbous eyes for the win. He could be Gumbi’s best friend.

Enemy’s of the guild: Be Afraid.

Made from a Reaper Witch Coven (#02904). Older biddies, unfortunately, but still just as potent. For years, I was looking for a reason to get these mini’s and with cryx, my dreams were fulfilled. The eregore is just as it is. I added some sludge pouring forth. Simple and effective levitation.

The Scene: Templecon 2012

Scenario:

Played on one of the awesome scenario tables at Templecon.  Some sort of power field thing on top of a ziggurat.  If you had the center within your control range you could roll for d6 extra focus or fury.  The opponent could attempt to beat your roll in which case you got nothing.  If you tied both players casters were knocked down slammed and lost fury/focus!

Home Field Advantage:

No advantages.

Beer on Hand:

A guinness in the parking lot.

Music Playing:

The annoying sound and reverberations of 400 gamers chatting about god knows what.

50 Point Lists:

CloudFang:

pThags tier 4: Carny, Angelious, Seraph, shredder, full mongers, full warspears, full spawning vessel, 2x Warchiefs, Forsaken

Gene:

Naresh: Titan Gladiator, Titan Bronzeback, Molik Karn, Swordsmen full + UA, Beast Handlers min, Nihilators, Harruk?, Solo Guy with boa

Pre-Game Thoughts and Deployment:

CloudFang:

Well, read through the scenario and it didn’t really sink in.  I was to amped to be at templecon playing someone I’ve never even met before.  Gene was a pretty cool guy.  Truck driver from Pennsylvania.  Pretty chill, pretty cool.  A great opponent to play.  He played to have fun which is why I was there so that always makes for a great game no matter what.  So my plan was to shimmy up the terrain sending my warspears wide.  Mostly because there was not any room at all for a ton of medium bases.  Luckily I had beasts with flight so I could pop over and hopefully somehow beat an opponent that I had never played with a caster I knew nothing about!

Gene:

Hopefully Gene will check this site out someday and respond because I have no idea what he was thinking…  But I assume it was similar to me.  I also dont have a pic of our deployment so heres a random templecon shot…  LTC represent!

Round 1:

CloudFang:

As mentioned above I spread my warspears out so they hustled up the flanks with a warchief behind them.  Still can’t quite figure out how to make the most of these guys.  Beasts kind of flew over the walls center to attempt to go control the top and spread out from there.  Carny ran along one side of the ruins and mongers hustled around after the pot and thags who won I believe 6 extra fury that turn!  Only turn 1 doesn’t allow for much to do with the extra..  Except cast obliteration!  only I had no real line of sight to anyone…  wasted fury.

Player 2:

Gene kind of came at me.  Beasts and Naresh cropping up similarly opposite from Thags.  His Nihilators went very wide but they were quick.  His swordsmen went to man up to the spears.

Round 2:

CloudFang:

Turn two saw the warspears assaulting the swordsmen right away.  Again warchief no where to be seen.  I put a decent whoopin on them for what I could reach.  Carny tries charging the bronzeback but i misjudged distance due to those god darned tusks making the model appear about and inch and half closer to me than the model really is!?  (at least thats my excuse)  I was able to put some extra attacks on Naresh though which was nice but with his defense I really couldn’t do all that much.  Angelious screamed in but he too was not able to do very much except for his animus which pushed the titan off the ruins and he fell down over the edge!  Seraph flies up top pushing angelious a bit forward before he charged and popped a swordsmen or two.  Everyone else tries to bundle up those steps.  Gene beat me on the roll for fury this round so I got no extras.

Gene:

My new buddy countered with the swordsmen and took out a lot of my spears and followed up with Harruk statue guy.  Laid waste to the carny and moved Naresh even closer to the top of the mountain.  The Nihilators sprinted down the side to overwhelm me from behind.

Round 3:

CloudFang:

I charged out with mongers hitting some Nihilators but not killing much.  The rest went forward and hit his gladiator and one tried for Naresh but came up short.  The lone warspear and spawning vessel posse charged Naresh to slow down his advance.  Thags pulls to the top of the mountain himself.  Getting ready for the final showdown.  Hows forgetting to bring back the carny working out.  Not so good.

Gene:

Gene put the angel away with Molik and the Nihilators left my mongers unmolested.  The titan went to join in the fun outside the temple.  Seems it just wasn’t working out for him.  Swordsmen moved towards me but didn’t do very much damage even after trying to take out the seraph.  Naresh pulled some shenanigans and got right up to Thags.  Unfortunately with spiny growth and transfers (shredder died) not much happened.

Round 4:

CloudFang:

With Naresh sitting right in front of me I knew it was time for the killing blow.  But first in good ol fashioned fun I decided to play the scenario.  This was a bad idea seeing as a tie would result in both of us being knocked down and slammed, but hey!?  its a scenario at Templecon you gotta go for it right?  BAM!  five extra fury!  Yes!  Didn’t even need it.  Thags easily put the smack down on Naresh.  Game over.

Gene:

Nothing but a great game.

Final Thoughts:

CloudFang:

Really fun game.  Gene was a great opponent and great guy!  I liked the way my list worked n this situation but feel like again I extended to far too fast.  I haven’t quite figured out the right balance between sending beasts out and feating back early so as to use the feat and overextending myself beyond Thags death shroud tank capabilities.  Naresh seems like an awesome caster and if I ever defect to skorne would definitely pick him up.  Flight helped tremendously with maneuverability over the terrain.  All in all a great game.  Thanks Gene…  if your out there and see this leave a comment chime in…  Until we meet again on the battlefield.

Vitamins make you strong. Sleep Deprivation makes you weak. Hamelin gives you buboes. At least when you succumb to his disease, you’ll do so with a song on your lips.

I had too much time on my hands around christmas. So What did I do?? I started an Outcast crew led by Hamelin. Seeing as my bitz box is overflowing with rats from a project that never took off, I decided I could make most of this army from stuff I own and do it on the cheap. I havent done a horde army since oh..1999. Malifuax is the perfect game to do a horde army because at most I’ll have to paint 25 models! Win!

Time to play fifty questions. What does plague mean? Contagion. Yes, but what else? Death.. Getting closer. Sickness? Yeah and? Dying and stuff? SO close? Dead bodies? Aiiiiii! Right! Skulls! Because he is the tyrant Plague and all, every mini gets a skull on its’ base.

Up first is Hamelin himself. Note the pile of skulls.

Next we have some rats to spread disease. Note the skulls…

Then we have some ratcatchers to help the rats spread the rats. Note the skulls..

I made these from all sorts of random parts and pieces from my bitz box. My favoutrite is granny. Such a creepy old bag lady. The cages are custom made from an aluminum foil core, with greenstuff around the outside and some plastic-card on top and bottom.

Lastly, we have stolen. Note the skulls..

You see what I did with these? One of them is saying “Duh?” while being lost next to a sign. One of them is like “Duh??” because he is in a vat of water, and one of them saying “Duh??!” because there is a log. If I dont kill my opponents with sound tatics, I will surely kill them with comedy.

I’m going to get to work on these asap, in between everything else on my plat. I’ve also decided to use colors that are not being used by other armies on my painting table. Its gonna be a crazy prismatic time!

I’ll get the rest of the the misfits I’m working on posted up here as soon as I can. Lots of sculpting on the others, especially the Undead R.O.U.S. Stay healthy!

Today, February 10th, 2012 marks the 3 year anniversary of Live to CRUSH.

Spit is NOT optional!

3 years ago this very day, I decided to shed off my forum handles and go forth as Thundernuts, Lord of the Thundercats. I forsook forums and their petty rules. No longer would I go quietly into the night! On this day, 0.15 score years ago, I created a place for all my incoherent ramblings that would make friends laugh and moderators wave the ban stick. Live to CRUSH was born.

3 years ago. I was a younger man then. My hair was less grey and my nuts less wrinkly. As the old timers then would tell me “Never waste a boner” I now pass that on to you. Got it?? Never waste a boner! 3 years ago. Things were different then. The economy was booming and I pissed money like a racehorse on diuretics. I could turn lead to gold and avoid gravity. Nothing could touch me. The mortal perils that age brings were shrugged off with youthful confidence and apathy. 3 years ago. Table top gaming back then wasn’t the dangerous affair that it has become today. Matches were less competitive and there was no chance you would get a die in the face unless you stuck it there yourself. Paper cuts didn’t exist. Rules didn’t exist. Gaming was just gaming and the young bucks in the game gamed for the sake of gaming and didn’t give a shit.

3 years ago. The games we played were different. Back then we were hucking bucketloads of dice across the old world of Warhammer Fantasy. Shortly after the site was made, we jumped card-first into the landImmoren, Privateer Press’s Warmachine and Hordes. We took a tour through the dungeons of Tamalir to sate our thirsts for questing in Fantasy Flight’s Game of Descent. In this current day, the city of Malifaux is our stomping ground thanks to Wyrd Miniatures mixed-medium multi-dimensional plane of Malifaux. We haven’t given up on our past games, they are merely postponed.

3 Years ago. Two babies, two marriages, three houses, and a dog later, Live to CRUSH has grown from a lone wolf that runs alone to a pack of lone wolves with banding. This site is still a place for my friends and I to come and laugh, but it has also become a place where people can browse through painted figures and while being entertained with our anecdotes. We are not the smartest players, nor are we the best painters. We’re funny, off the wall, some would say zany, characters playing with small dolls on game boards that would make Barbie weep with jealousy. We are the Daily Show of the miniatures world. We are Live to CRUSH. We are here to stay. We are here to play. So get off your ass and throw down some dice because what are you gonna do when the biggest dice in miniatures comes lookin for you?!?!?!?!?!

Badassery aside (badassery is never aside here!), I’ve put together a

Best of Live to Crush Catalogue of Posts

These posts are really what Live to CRUSH is all about: hobby, gaming, wordplay, and tomfoolery. If you’re new here, enjoy getting to know us! If you’re an old salt, some of these will bring a tear to your eye.

Romance Tip#1

Converted Asphyxious

Strongman and Stripes – Both Start with “S”

Deathjack Extreme Tutorial:
Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Finished!

Descent Spoiled Brat – Night 3

Malifaux – Night of the Living Dead

Warmachine – A Calandra Sandwich – Spoilt

Malifaux – Twas the Night of Ole Krampus

Trollblood Bouncers

Warhammer – Dark Elves versus Warrior of Chaos – Retried

Jar of Paint 1, Aaron 0

Rhapsody of the Ages

The next year has quite a bit in store. We are looking at completing our Malifaux Tale of Painters in April. Then we have the subsequent 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse Match to decide the fate of the universe. Following that massive affair, we’ll probably start up a new Warmachine Tale of Painters. We have celebrity interviews lined up, a foray into Warhammer 40k, two LtC members will be playing their first ever fully painted games, some Warhammer fantasy painting, contests, bitch slaps, more Malifaux, more terrain, more reviews, and the long awaited, much anticipated site revamp! Year 3 was a good year but year four is going to make it look shameful!

To all the Crushers out there, thanks for keeping up with us! We aim to keep it up for another year!

Live to CRUSH!!

Every now and then a product comes out that exceeds expectations and through sheer quality, places itself on the peak of the mountain leaving its competitors behind. Battlefoam has done that. With new ideas and constant change, they plan to stay there.

In the days of yore, I bought a lovely Battlefoam bag at Templecon 2010 and had the pleasure to meet two twisted individuals from Battlefoam. When I say they are twisted, I mean it. One disguises him self as a normal citizen, which is the most dangerous sort of geek. The other…well, he doesn’t quite fit in, but he is a pretty funny sonofabitch and it’s hard to fault a guy like that. (We’ll miss ya Rick.)

These guys twisted my arm about their product. Sure it was midnight. Sure I was tired. Sure I had a few drinks in me. I was a complete skeptic that their bags were any better than any other product on the market. Even though one of the two aforementioned twisted individuals was riding one of the bags (with miniatures in it) down the hallway like it was a rocking horse and he was a matador. Did I mention it was midnight? It’s hard to get very far on a rocking horse. It’s generally not good to get too far from a person when selling a product. It’s a good thing the older bags didn’t have wheels because I would have remained a skeptic if he tried to sell me a bag from 60 paces away. I would never ride my bag like that while there are buns in the oven! Yet, there he was….

It being late, I and by I, I am referring to the LTC crew, decided it would be best to sleep on this decision. Convinced I was, some smoke and mirrors there was, somewhere. Wrong, I was.

The next day, I returned to re-investigate the product with a keen eye and a sharp tongue. My wits were honed by caffeine. I was a bit of a douche (wonders never cease!), but my old transport case was on it’s last threads. What I didn’t mention to the battlefoam guys is this: I had a dream…..I, Lich Lord Tominus, was running some sort of miniatures opium trafficing brothel from my new Battlefoam bag. Pretty much, I was completely convinced I needed this bag to achieve my dreams.

What did I get? I got a slightly more custom bag than normal because most of my models are a tad more converted than the average model. Your standard bag comes with two small model trays, one medium tray, and two large tray. I went with one of each of the above, then two custom trays: one for all the big boys and a medium tray with an extra inch of foam to give me the height I need to protect my tall thralls. Here are some pics:

You can see in the right most tray in the right picture above my custom tray for bane thralls. Its the same spacing as the tray in the middle, just with an extra inch of foam to cover the pointy bits on the thralls. I added some spacers to that tray to prevent my thralls from tipping over.

The above picture on the left shows the standard “heavy jack” tray. The picture on the right shows the custom tray that houses all the BIG monsters. Where, o where, art thou Tominus? As you can see, I had to cut two small channels to fit my Deathjack Extreme XXX. The DJ was just a wet stain in my underwear when I bought my bag.

Let us fast forward to present day; my bag is completely filled! It weights more grams than I can count! Carrying it around last con, the bag chaffed my shoulder and my wife accused me of having a steampunk sex wound. Aside from that, the old bag is holding out good. None of the seams are torn, the foam is still exactly as it was the day I bought it. In three years, I have not had any models break and keep in mind I take this bag everywhere. It has a dedicated place in my car trunk with its name on it. I call it/her Diaochan.

Diaochan was a pretty good investment. The initial price to get into Battlefoam is a steep when compared to the other manufacturers. I’m always complaining about my wallet around here it seems. However, its the last bag…YOU…WILL….EVER….BUY. Diaochan and me forever! Fantasy? Hell no, that’s reality! 3 years of hard sex gaming and Diaochan is still as supple, firm, and taciturn as as she was the day I bought her. Back to the Benjamins, I recommend getting a Diaochan of your own at a convention. Romeo (the Battlefoam creator and mad scientist) has convention specials that make the initial throw down of your wad more gentle than a night at a burlesque club.

You get a lot of baggage for your buck. Stitching and seams are all done well utilizing the double and triple stitch in areas of stress. I took home economics, I know. Plenty of pockets and an area for cards and binder pages are standard. Diaochan also has some filing cabinet like storage space on her interior for holding books and other flat things like a dvd or hacksaw. Or paper. Or condoms.* Or a small shotgun.

Another point of merit….talk to Battlefoam if you need something custom. The employees are friendly and will make sure what your getting is going to work for your sinister purposes. If you need a tray to carry a large glass tobacco pipe, they can help. The just need to know. Too often I read negative remarks about how “this model” or “that mini” doesn’t fit in the bag, but all too often the ranter didn’t bother to mention that they owned an extreme avatar of menoth made from vienna sausages and mashed potatoes. Battlefoam is run by gamers dedicated to making a good product. They understand the lingo and know that everyone has different tastes.

I highly recommend Battlefoam. It is a good product and it will last. Perhaps the bag wont last quite as long if you light it on fire and throw it into oncoming traffic. However, Diaochan and me are still going strong. 3 years of mileage and no complaints. I think she is carrying my newest little one in her safe, squishy innards.

*Its commonly known that convention girls put out easier than your normal run of the mill girl. The quantity of gamer pheremones in the air make the ladies randy. Unfortunately, they are not interested in your army.

Just a short post for you all today.  Entered this in a contest by Rathnard for the Aethervox podcast.  Which, if you have not listened to yet is a pretty great Malifaux podcast.  It has a lot of different things going on so look it up or grab the link for some more info or good listening.  Anyway the contest was to write to Rathnard and tell him why Marcus is the best in hopes to win good ol’ avatar marcus.  I’ve got my fingers crossed.  Also don’t be afraid to check out the Live to Crush youtube channel here.  It does’t have much but hopefully in the near future as the site gets revamped the vids will start showing up too..